focus on what matters

What Do I Say?

What Do I Say?

My friend’s friend is dying.  She is in hospice care and has only days to live.  Maybe a week or two at best.  My friend called me for advice.  Her question was, “What do I say to my dying friend?”  My answer was this:

“Tell your friend you love her.  Tell her that she matters.  Talk about the good times you have shared as friends.  Don’t be afraid to laugh.  Humor has a way of easing the pain.  Give her permission to go when she is ready and let her know that you will be okay without her.  She wants you to be.  And, most importantly, be yourself.”  We talked for a bit longer and then I asked my friend, “What do you want me to say to you when you are on your deathbed?”  It’s a serious question and I meant it.  And guess what?  She told me.  She told me what she wanted me to say to her in her final hours.  We laughed and shed a tear or two.  I will honor her wishes and I am glad that I know.  I now know what she wants to hear from me.  I am relieved and I think she feels better too.

Ask The Question

Here is what I learned from this conversation with my friend.  I learned that it is important to ask the question.  So I am going to.  I am going to ask “my people”, those near and dear to me, what they want me

Day 30 Intentional Living: Focus On What You Want

Focus On What You Want

It is easy for things to spiral out of control if you focus on what you don’t want.  Instead, you must focus on what you do want.  When you are having one of those days, you know the ones where it seems like everything is going wrong, you have to do something to change your state and focus.  What works for me is to do a gratitude rampage.  What does this mean?  Well, I either grab my journal or go on a walk, and I start listing everything in and about my life for which I am grateful.  I start at the tip of my toes and go to the tip of my head and everything in between.  I say thank you, thank you, thank you.  The reason this helps is that it changes your focus to things that are positive instead of upstream or negative.

Momentum

Our thoughts gain momentum.  If we are thinking thoughts that do not serve us and that assist us in feeling bad, they will gain momentum, and more of those kinds of views will come.  Likewise, when we are in a state of gratitude and joy, our thoughts will be positive and useful.  There is no doubt which of these thought processes are more likely to help us to create a life that we love.  Choose easy.  Choose flow.  Choose joy.  Choose downstream.

https://youtu.be/W7imPogY4bg Stay true and be you —

Annie

What Will Matter…On The Day You Die?

Have You Ever Done This?

I sat in a room full of moms this weekend; really caring, present, concerned and tired moms.  One of the most disquieting things they worry about as a parent is the fact that their young children are anxious.  A few of them have ten and eleven-year-olds who are so distressed about how they look; compared to others.  What their grades are; compared to others.  If they are preparing enough to be accepted into the best college; compared to others.   If they get enough LIKES on social media; compared to others.  And, the list goes on.  As I sat there and listened to these beautiful women describe the ripple effect of their fretful children, I began to wonder about a few things.

I Wonder…

I wonder how many of us are so busy being busy that we miss out on the juiciness of life.  How many of us are so engaged in ‘planning’ our life instead of actually living it?  Does a calendar rule your life, or do you direct your calendar in a life-giving way?  How many of us are exhausting ourselves as we chase the ‘oh so important material things’?  Do you get hung up on what someone thinks of you?  Do you have to win every argument?   Are you addicted to texting, and Facebook, and SnapChat, and Instagram and everything else your gadget does to distract you?  Do you stand in front of a mirror each day and pick apart every inch of your body with disdainful self-talk?