family

What Do I Say?

What Do I Say?

My friend’s friend is dying.  She is in hospice care and has only days to live.  Maybe a week or two at best.  My friend called me for advice.  Her question was, “What do I say to my dying friend?”  My answer was this:

“Tell your friend you love her.  Tell her that she matters.  Talk about the good times you have shared as friends.  Don’t be afraid to laugh.  Humor has a way of easing the pain.  Give her permission to go when she is ready and let her know that you will be okay without her.  She wants you to be.  And, most importantly, be yourself.”  We talked for a bit longer and then I asked my friend, “What do you want me to say to you when you are on your deathbed?”  It’s a serious question and I meant it.  And guess what?  She told me.  She told me what she wanted me to say to her in her final hours.  We laughed and shed a tear or two.  I will honor her wishes and I am glad that I know.  I now know what she wants to hear from me.  I am relieved and I think she feels better too.

Ask The Question

Here is what I learned from this conversation with my friend.  I learned that it is important to ask the question.  So I am going to.  I am going to ask “my people”, those near and dear to me, what they want me

Take A Road Trip

The Road Trip

This road trip is just what the doctor ordered.  Last weekend three of my pals and I set out for a journey to a house concert in Cambria, California.  We left Rancho Santa Fe, California at 4:30 am so that we could avoid heavy traffic through Los Angeles.  There is not an ideal time to make ones way through LA, but our strategy paid off.  We had a twenty-minute delay as a result of an accident, but for the most part it was smooth sailing.  We arrived in Santa Barbara at 8:30 a.m.  We stopped by the Four Season’s Biltmore Hotel which overlooks the stunning Butterfly Beach.  The hotel is tucked between the Pacific Ocean and the Santa Ynez Mountains.  Opened in 1927 the iconic Restort is made up of secluded courtyards and Spanish Colonial villas and bungalows.  Everywhere you look is eye candy for the soul.  We saw the dolphins gracefully leaping in and out of the water as they did their morning feeding close to the shore.

San Ysidro Ranch

Next up we drove a few short miles to the San Ysidro Ranch.  Nestled in the Montecito foothills in the middle of wine country, the ranch is a tranquil destination for travelers.  Myth and history mingle in the lush garden where Vivien Leigh and Sir Laurence Olivier exchanged vows; in the setting of John and Jackie Kennedy’s honeymoon retreat.  It is such a special and historical treasure.  The

Habit 11: We Prioritize Time

Prioritize Time

Do you prioritize your time?  I had an excellent opportunity to absorb the importance of using our time wisely and for a useful purpose.  A dear friend recently passed away and here is what I learned at his funeral.

Stay true and be you —

Annie Create a Life You Love
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By |2019-01-03T12:03:14+00:00December 9th, 2018|Categories: Thoughts from the Barn|Tags: , , , |0 Comments

Day 10 Intentional Living: Focus On The One You Love

Focus On Your Relationship

We must focus on our relationships to protect them from being jeopardized by outside distractions.  Our lives are full, and the world moves fast.  There are massive amounts of distractions that can cause us to be pulled off center when it comes to the ones we love.  I believe that digital devices are beautiful vehicles for connection to the outside world.  However, there is an addictive component to excess use of these tools.  Instead of spending one-on-one time with family and friends and practicing full presence, we reach for our phone to see if we have any new friend requests.  We hope for a bunch of “friends” to “Like” every post.  We monitor our followers on Instagram as if each one is a cherished person in our life.  The fact is, social media and much of what is available to us via the internet has been developed to increase your dopamine levels and keep you coming back for more.

Digital Detox

I invite you to commit to a digital detox so that your relationships can begin to thrive.  Human beings deepest desire is to be seen by someone.  Be that someone.  Limit your time on your instruments and instead create ways that you can spend more time seeing those around you.  Look them in the eyes and smile and let them know that you appreciate them.

https://youtu.be/7hQShnOw7IQ Stay true and be you —

Annie

It’s Time To Do Some Gardening In Your Life

Spring Gardening

I have spent the last several weeks working in my gardens.  My activities include pulling weeds, pruning, raking, planting, fertilizing, watering and admiring.  One of the first things I did as I started on this journey of refreshing my little plot of land was to cut back all of my rose bushes.  And let me tell you, I went to town on them.  I gave them a proper trimming.  Yesterday as I was doing some watering I noticed that every single one of these rose bushes had beautifully exploded with new growth.  The leaves are a deep green, and there are scores of buds that will soon break out into a stunning display of exquisiteness.

Gardening can be challenging.  However, the results of a well-tended yard no matter the size, are gratifying.  All five senses can be satisfied with the fruits of our labor.  I find it a valuable way to spend time.  I also believe that many domains of our life can benefit from some intentional gardening.  Let’s have a look.

Relationship

Whether you have chosen marriage, a life partner, or a significant other, relationships can be a beautiful dance through life with a loved one, and they can also be challenging and in some cases unhealthy.  Regardless of your current relationship status, I will remind you that it is not anyone’s responsibility to make you happy except yourself.  So, if you are in a relationship or seeking to enter into one to be satisfied, don’t do it.  It doesn’t work