Lines In The Sand

Loving and Believing in Yourself

I have been fortunate to observe my best friend and her fiancé plan their wedding for the past two years.  They got married this past Saturday, and it was one of the most beautiful weddings I have ever seen.  I had an added layer of privilege because my friend chose me to be her maid of honor.  As I witnessed the pure joy and love of the day and watched the guests enjoying themselves as we celebrated this exquisite union I thought to myself, “ I wonder how many of these people have ever asked themselves this question:  What kind of relationship do I have with myself?  I am going to go out on a limb here and guess that most people have never paused to ask this question.  Ever.  And if they did, I am reasonably confident that most would say that they are much more kind, compassionate, generous, and gentle with others in their life that they care about than they are with themselves.

Why is this?  Why are we so hard on ourselves?  Is it because we have set such high expectations for ourselves or that we don’t believe we are living up to the expectations of others?  Do we think that self-compassion is self-indulgent?  Do we feel unworthy or undeserving?  I don’t have the answer because I know it is different for everyone, but I do think that the inquiry is important.  And, asking as well as answering the question is an important exercise to go through. 

By |2017-10-30T10:14:49+00:00September 6th, 2017|Categories: Lines In The Sand, Thoughts from the Barn|0 Comments

How to Be Impeccably Fiscally Disciplined

I just finished teaching the live Lines In The Sand session of Line Seven:  Be Impeccably Fiscally Disciplined to a group of intelligent, capable, and industrious participants.  This Line is cringeworthy at best for most people who have taken part in the live course.

We started the day by answering the following nine questions:

  1. Do you have a budget?
  2. Do you have a personal financial WHY?
  3. Do you have a retirement plan?
  4. Do you have a “slush fund” for emergencies or unexpected expenses?
  5. Do you reconcile your bank accounts each month?
  6. Does your family understand your finances?
  7. Do you teach your children about money?
  8. Do you have a Will?
  9. Do you have a revocable living trust?

Surprising or not, the majority of the participants answered every single one of these questions with a resounding “No”.  I invite you to take a few minutes to answer these questions for yourself.  Some of these questions may not apply to you and your current situation, but if they do, I invite you to start doing what it takes to get to a yes.

It has been my observation that where there is money, there is emotion.  At a very you age most people are either taught or through their own observation develop a money mindset.  The prevalent feeling associated with money is fear.  There is fear of never having enough, fear of losing it all, fear of being judged by how much money one has or doesn’t have and the list goes on.

Let’s go back

By |2017-10-30T10:14:49+00:00August 3rd, 2017|Categories: Lines In The Sand, Thoughts from the Barn|0 Comments

6 Easy Things You Can Do To Increase Your Sense of Self-Worth and Self-Love

What is something our readers can do today to increase their sense of self-worth and self-love?

(a snapshot of what you’ll learn in the Online Edition of the Lines In The Sand course)

First, we have to realize that self-worth comes from within.  You won’t find it in having a big house, a fancy car, a lot of money or a bunch of friends.  These are external people, places, and things that may bring temporary satisfaction, but in the long run, it is how you feel and think about yourself that matters most.  Today I would like to share six powerful habits that will help you improve your self-worth and self-love.

  1. Eliminate negative self-talk.  Would you talk to your best friend or someone who you care about deeply the same way that you talk to yourself?  Of course not.  You must stop having unconstructive conversations with yourself.   Instead, start to recognize and appreciate all the things about yourself that you like.  Write these things down, add to the list often, and revisit it frequently to remind yourself of your positive attributes.
  2. Stop comparing yourself to others. This is probably one of the most destructive behaviors you can participate in.  Your life is your journey so keep your focus on your journey, not anyone else’s.  It doesn’t serve you in any way to think you need to measure up to anyone else.  If you want someone to compare you to, compare yourself to your BEST self.
  3. Surround yourself with masters. There is an
By |2017-10-30T10:14:49+00:00July 20th, 2017|Categories: Lines In The Sand, Thoughts from the Barn|0 Comments

Powerful Tips to Help You Change Your Story and Create the Life You Love

The late Dr. Maya Angelou once said, “If you know better, do better.”  I think that most of us at some point in our lives encounter a situation where we “know better.”   The question is, does this knowing lead us to “do better”?

Our Emotions Are a Record of the Past

Research has shown that children between 2 years to 5 or 6 years of age have the ability to absorb vital information directly into their subconscious minds because of the way that the brain develops. This is a time in our life where we are highly adaptive, and it is also a time when we put in order our cultural beliefs and societal behaviors into our nervous system. And, this is where our “life story” starts to formulate. During these years when we have experiences, we pay attention to our feelings that come from our inner world. When our feelings feel altered, we look outside of ourselves to see who or what caused this altered feeling. These events create an associative memory, and then these experiences are encoded into our memory system where they are stored in our subconscious. The moment that we get into situations that bring up similar emotions that have branded us from the past, we revert back to that six-year-old child and behave in limited ways because that is all we know. Our emotions are a record of the past, so we analyze current events within that emotion, so we are thinking in the past. Hence our

By |2017-10-30T10:14:49+00:00June 7th, 2017|Categories: Belief Systems, Lines In The Sand, Thoughts from the Barn|0 Comments

Ten Simple Tips To Eliminate Struggle & Increase Ease In Your Life

I have the good fortune to live in a beautiful area of California on a little plot of land that I can call my own. I have two horses and a dog that I love with all of my heart. I have a John Deere tractor and Gator that play a big part in helping me to maintain my property, and almost every weekend you can find me at my barn cleaning up, tending to the garden, pulling weeds, mowing the riverbed and whatever else it takes to keep things in good order. My best thoughts come to me when I am out in nature and doing my chores. This past weekend as I was mulching around my trees and I thought about what creates the struggle in our life. Maybe it is because Mercury has been in retrograde because I have observed people’s actions and words to be of resistance and strife lately. Regardless of the reason for these times of tussles, the following suggestions to eliminate the struggle is what came to me as I was working at the barn:

  1. Stay In Your Lane. This is a simple concept especially if you are someone who spends time driving around on the planet. There are a set of rules and courtesies that we learn about driving that help to limit the number of accidents and potential people clashing incidents as we are traveling to and from the places we go.       The main useful driving directive is
By |2017-10-30T10:14:49+00:00May 16th, 2017|Categories: Lines In The Sand, Thoughts from the Barn|0 Comments

Desiderata

“Desiderata” is Latin for “things desired”.  This poem has always held great wisdom for me; it still does.  As I was de-cluttering the desktop on my computer today, I came across it and read it again.  Although this was written over ninety years ago by Max Ehrmann, an American writer, poet, and attorney, the advice and acumen of these words remain relevant and valuable today.  As a side note, Ehrmann was fifty-four years old when he penned this poem which did not achieve fame until after his death at age seventy-two.  It goes to show you, it is never too late, and you are never too old.  Please take the time to read and absorb these words of eternal good sense.

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full

By |2017-10-30T10:14:50+00:00May 11th, 2017|Categories: Lines In The Sand, Thoughts from the Barn|0 Comments

The Art of the Handwritten Letter: Part Four — A letter to Yourself

Please do this for yourself.  Pick out some stationery that you love.  Put your phone down, shut down your computer, turn the TV off and get to your quiet place.   You are going to write a letter to yourself.  It is called “A Year From Now”.   It is my belief that one of the most important and impactful letters that you may ever write, is one to yourself.  Now, grab your favorite pen, sit down and start writing.  Think about your life a year from now.  How do you want it to look, feel, be?

I am suggesting that you consider nine domains of your life.  In your letter, describe how you want these areas of your life to be in one year.

Family:  Regardless of the makeup of your family, what is your best vision of how it takes shape over the next twelve months?  It may be as simple as having a healthy family that communicates well and appreciates one another.  Or, maybe there are some ‘fences that need mending’ and you are going to play a positive and active role to help your family achieve that outcome.

Friends and Affiliations:   Jim Morrison, the American singer, and songwriter once said, “A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself.”  This is so true.  I urge you to surround yourself with supportive and inspiring friends who admire your authenticity.  I have come to know that friendship is like gardening.  Both require nurturing, devotion and persistence.  

By |2017-10-30T10:14:50+00:00April 27th, 2017|Categories: Creativity, Lines In The Sand, Thoughts from the Barn|0 Comments

How the Process of Declutter Can Lead You To a Life You Love

One of the most compelling Lines in the entire Lines In The Sand course is Line Four: Embrace + Practice Surrender which focuses on decluttering all areas of our life.  Participants in the course come to realize that there is great freedom in surrender.  It is no secret that we live in a world that teaches us that holding on to people, places, circumstances and things will provide us with happiness.  And then we find ourselves in a state of worry and stress over the fact that these things will be lost or taken from us.  This has the potential to create a downward spiral of beliefs which make us question our self-worth because we become more focused on the value of “our things” instead of the value of getting to know who we are and embracing our authenticity.

There is a lot to be said for letting go of anything or anyone that keeps you stuck in the past or a slave to their existence. Holding on to things is ego based. The ego relies on fear to keep going. I invite you to surrender anything in your life that doesn’t serve you. This will make room for all the things that are love based and genuine. Below you will see an article written by Luminita Saviuc, the founder of Purpose Fairy. In this article, Luminita shares 8 Good Reasons Why You Should Let Go of Clutter. She offers some sage advice on how

By |2017-10-30T10:14:50+00:00April 25th, 2017|Categories: Lines In The Sand, Thoughts from the Barn|0 Comments

What’s The Best Advice That You’d Give To Your Younger Self?

In both the Live and Online Edition of the Lines In The Sand course, you are asked and answer a lot of questions.  One of those questions is:  What is the best advice would you give your younger self?  If you are an Oprah fan, you might recognize this question, because it is one she likes to ask during her “Super Soul Sunday” interviews.  Here is how three of her guests answered the question.

“I would say, ‘Stop worrying.’”  “There is so much unnecessary worry, so many unnecessary self-judgments, so many negative fantasies about the future.”

“I would say, ‘Everything is going to be OK, and you can be young.’ I would come in as a 40-year-old and say, ‘I got this.  You can go play.  I got this.”

“I would tell my younger self to focus on finding quiet, I think we live in a culture of distraction, and silence is a way to find the center.”

Sage advice from all three, don’t you think?  I always say, “If you are going to ask the question, you have to be willing to answer it.”  So what would be my advice to my younger self?  For me, it is these two things:

  1.  Always trust your gut.  For as long as I can remember, I have had strong intuition.  I have a certain knowing about people and things.  It is as if I know things before they happen. 
By |2017-10-30T10:14:50+00:00April 18th, 2017|Categories: Lines In The Sand, Thoughts from the Barn|0 Comments

The Art of the Handwritten Letter: Part Two

Write a Letter to Someone Important to You Who Has Died

Welcome to the second in a series of four suggestions to compose a handwritten letter.  If you missed last week’s installment, you can read it here.  http://meetmeatthebarn.com/why-handwritten-letters-make-a-powerful-impact/

A Handwritten Letter That Says What Needs to be Said

The first letter that you were invited to write was a thank you note.  I hope that you chose to participate in sending a note of appreciation to someone who has had an impact on you.  This week I am asking you to scribe a letter to someone who is no longer living.  That’s right, this is your chance to say what you might have left unsaid to someone while they were still living.  Or maybe you would like to simply check-in with a dearly departed.  Whatever the case may be, use this occasion to connect or reconnect with a soul who somehow matters to you.

I think you will find that this exercise gives you the opportunity to get some things off your chest, or to get complete with a person, or maybe have a private dialogue with someone you miss and think of often.  You will likely have emotions of recollection, humor, sadness, and joy.  Whatever it is that you experience, “be” with it, appreciate the fact that you have taken this opportunity to make amends, to say I Love You, or to merely give a wink and a nod to a beloved and never forgotten friend.

So, what do you do when you

By |2017-10-30T10:15:28+00:00April 4th, 2017|Categories: Lines In The Sand, Thoughts from the Barn, Uncategorized|0 Comments