Monthly Archives: August 2019

What Do I Say?

What Do I Say?

My friend’s friend is dying.  She is in hospice care and has only days to live.  Maybe a week or two at best.  My friend called me for advice.  Her question was, “What do I say to my dying friend?”  My answer was this:

“Tell your friend you love her.  Tell her that she matters.  Talk about the good times you have shared as friends.  Don’t be afraid to laugh.  Humor has a way of easing the pain.  Give her permission to go when she is ready and let her know that you will be okay without her.  She wants you to be.  And, most importantly, be yourself.”  We talked for a bit longer and then I asked my friend, “What do you want me to say to you when you are on your deathbed?”  It’s a serious question and I meant it.  And guess what?  She told me.  She told me what she wanted me to say to her in her final hours.  We laughed and shed a tear or two.  I will honor her wishes and I am glad that I know.  I now know what she wants to hear from me.  I am relieved and I think she feels better too.

Ask The Question

Here is what I learned from this conversation with my friend.  I learned that it is important to ask the question.  So I am going to.  I am going to ask “my people”, those near and dear to me, what they want me

Take A Road Trip

The Road Trip

This road trip is just what the doctor ordered.  Last weekend three of my pals and I set out for a journey to a house concert in Cambria, California.  We left Rancho Santa Fe, California at 4:30 am so that we could avoid heavy traffic through Los Angeles.  There is not an ideal time to make ones way through LA, but our strategy paid off.  We had a twenty-minute delay as a result of an accident, but for the most part it was smooth sailing.  We arrived in Santa Barbara at 8:30 a.m.  We stopped by the Four Season’s Biltmore Hotel which overlooks the stunning Butterfly Beach.  The hotel is tucked between the Pacific Ocean and the Santa Ynez Mountains.  Opened in 1927 the iconic Restort is made up of secluded courtyards and Spanish Colonial villas and bungalows.  Everywhere you look is eye candy for the soul.  We saw the dolphins gracefully leaping in and out of the water as they did their morning feeding close to the shore.

San Ysidro Ranch

Next up we drove a few short miles to the San Ysidro Ranch.  Nestled in the Montecito foothills in the middle of wine country, the ranch is a tranquil destination for travelers.  Myth and history mingle in the lush garden where Vivien Leigh and Sir Laurence Olivier exchanged vows; in the setting of John and Jackie Kennedy’s honeymoon retreat.  It is such a special and historical treasure.  The